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There had been a history of non-payment of child support.

We had a court order from 1997 and the boy’s father just didn’t ever pay.

All I could do is make the situation more adversarial.

When I took it to court, that really didn’t help the conflict either

but that’s all I could really do.

I pretty much gave up I wasn’t going to do anything more.

But I was bothered by the fact that these two boys were not being supported by their father

and if they ever asked, “Did he support us?” I would say, “No.”

And if they asked, “Why didn’t you make him?” Why didn’t I?

I thought, well, there’s one more thing I can do; I can file with DHS.

They’re in Pride of Broken Arrow Marching Band which has a cost of about $1,400.00 a year.

When we can use that money to go towards something like that and

we don’t have to take it out of our regular budget.

It’s such a relief.

It’s also a relief in terms of emotionally,

I don’t feel bad because I feel like I’m letting him of the hook for his boys.

I would feel like I was cheating them and for me to be able to say,

“Yes, of course. You have to do that.” It’s such a relief to me.

When they contacted me about the case, it was very quick after that

that they were able to get with him and start working with him.

Working with him is not something I could do.

When it’s with someone who is more neutral and very professional and

has been through this before, knows exactly--

I mean I’m sure there are so many times

when caseworkers run into the same situations and

the same roadblocks and they have to tools to get past them.

I don’t.

I didn’t want to show them the bad example of just giving up on something

that you really should stand up for.

It is there.

It is for them.

I can see that they are looking at opportunities and seeing that they can do things.

Rather than just the basic--I go to school, I come home, they are learning that it pays off to do

the extra things, go the extra mile and pursue their talents.

They both have, like all kids, they have specific talents that need to be encouraged.

It needs to be encouraged in all kids.

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